The Truth in the Matter
I learned once that there is only one truth, and an infinite number of falsehoods against it.
I can’t recall where that entered my sparky organ, but I’m guessing it was from either the wisest sage on the highest mountain top, or I made it up in a moment of clarity. It’s probably somewhere in between, but either way I personally know that statement must be true because I accept it as true.
I think a universal truth we all share is that I am, that I exist. The proof of it is in the spirit controlling the mind controlling the body. The inputs come in through the five senses, are jumbled around, analyzed and referenced as true or false. That humans can have this existence from birth to death is a miraculous gift in itself. All along the way, from believing we can stand, to recognizing our first object, to saying our first words, there is the beginning of a search for what is true and what is untrue.
The growth of humans throughout their lives involves a constant definition of what is true and what is false. It’s how we become unique in our personalities, share commonalities and find our place in this world. It’s our experiences, the inputs through our senses, that create the belief systems we will carry for great portions of our lives.
Believing in truth and the cycle towards belief isn’t a simple task. The mind vigorously puts the incoming experiences and information through the ringer, measuring it against all the other established beliefs, and many times the established beliefs of peers or trusted resources. These days, belief systems are under the constant test of social media by strangers a person will never meet.
All of this takes a lot of mental processing because beliefs are a higher-level part of decision making. Once a perceived truth becomes an accepted truth, and then is further established as a belief, it becomes solidified. That means it’s no longer jumbled around, wondered about, thrown against the wall or even allowed question in most cases. It’s one of many Rocks of Gibraltar resting in the field that is our psychological makeup.
So, what happens when I establish a belief but the originating experience was false, yet had been told to myself and others as true, and enough people before me had established it as a belief, so that when I encountered it there was no contrary viewpoints or evidence available? The message is reaffirmed as true, and since I can’t find any arguments to the contrary, it becomes a belief. Then sometime down the road I encounter the truth of the matter and it’s shoved in my grill like old wedding cake. More than likely I will continue to defend my position because it’s impossible that my established belief is even a bit wrong. Depending on the belief, I may defend it to the point of mentally or physically harming anyone disagreeing with me.
Take an A.I. program like ChatGPT. If all of the information it was allowed to input were lies and falsehoods, all it would output would be lies and falsehoods. Yet because the computer understood its database as truth, everything it presented to the end-user would be well-crafted statements and answers that read exactly as if they were true. In fact, as an end user, if I didn’t know better I might establish new beliefs in my mind based on the A.I. program’s points of view. If those same lies disguised as truth are repeated from other sources, say a group of peers that also were exposed to my A.I. program, that information would ultimately work its way into a belief system, and what was untrue would become the unchallengeable truth.
All beliefs should be open for challenge.
In recovery, one of the most important and necessary actions is an unbridled and rigorous analysis of self. This occurs in three parts: who I was, who I am and who I can be. Of primary importance is what I was before now. All of the beliefs I held need to be brought out from hiding, opened up, reanalyzed and put to the test with trusted sponsors, mentors and confidantes. That doesn’t mean abandoning anything I believe in. Instead, it’s a dismantling of my beliefs by analyzing the conditions that led to one or more of them. By defining the circumstances of what occurred in the past, whether good, bad or anywhere in between, a genuine picture of what makes up a person now and how they got here can be achieved. This is necessary to create a starting point in recovery. A foundation free of alcohol and stripped of the causes of alcoholism is the solidity needed for recovery to be built upon.
Earlier on I called beliefs the ‘Rocks of Gibraltar’. That’s a fantastic image, but understand that the exterior of a thing is not a thing. Our beliefs that mimic rock solid pieces of our identity are really well fashioned shells. Each shell must constantly be reinforced with glossy varnish, pretty paint and a thick layer of praise and affirmation. Without this maintenance, the appearance and durability of the exterior deteriorates. It’s decay produces blemishes, cracks, holes and ultimately disintegration. Even a human’s top level belief; the belief that ‘I’ exist, functions only as long as the heart beats, the lungs draw air, and the brain processes.
Belief systems can be evaluated and vigorously analyzed without losing them.
I feel that beliefs should be tested on a personal level from time to time. How can I know if the thoughts that drive me do me justice if all they encounter are questions that make them true? One of the best ways to test any belief is to run it through scenarios where it is portrayed as false. This can be done entirely by looking at the roots that created the belief to begin with.
An example I’m thinking of is common to many alcoholics. The development of a negative self-identity is something that is produced by repeated false statements, arguments, disciplines and social attitudes in the developmental phases of life. This can come from parents and family, trusted teachers or other positions of authority, social media and peer definitions, and religious organizations as an example. Repeated occurrences of the same negative reinforcement will create a belief system that is equal to truth. With enough continued affirmation, the distrust in self and others, feelings of inadequacy, guilt, remorse, resentment and doubt will be a belief as solid as the sun rising in the east. These types of damaging ways of looking at self and the world outside are likely to cause outward and inwardly destructive behaviors.
In recovery, challenging all negative definitions of self is paramount to leaving alcohol behind and building a new person at the forefront. If we investigate and uncover the underlying influences that our self-identity is built upon, we can find the false in them and set a clean slate to replace them with true.
None of this is easy, which is why alcohol is used as a shroud for these feelings. Alcohol has a unique effect of numbing the senses, and the emotional senses are a large part of that. Under the influence of alcohol, the negative beliefs aren’t removed, but rather shelved until the next interruption of inebriation, then realized again, and more drinking generates the cycle repeatedly. When drunkenness is in effect, the dulling of all senses creates situations of bad judgment, the inability to function mentally or physically, further acting out in negative mannerisms, and a self-deprecating lifestyle that dumps fuel onto the fire, bottles at a time.
Once the decision is made to stop using alcohol, what was already a poor personal outlook can become a dreary nightmare from the results of continued alcohol influenced actions. But the first step, taking alcohol out of the equation, gives room for taking apart what was, objectively seeing what is, and making room for what can be.
No belief system is so great that it can’t be improved.
With sobriety and recovery comes development. It’s foolish to build and develop on existing structure that is faulty, unsecured, rotted and dangerous. It’s better to tear out the faults in a structure, keep what can be salvaged as useful for future construction, and ensure that there is a foundation to build on. If a person is alive, breathing, sober and capable of thought, there is a foundation that can be built on.
In recovery, the materials of building are beneficial truths that can be reinforced by reliable sources. This lends credence to the idea that community with people that have been alcoholics has immense value. Others in recovery are more apt to give positive analysis and feedback to a person in need. They know the damage of a return to drinking and the pitfalls of recovery. It’s in their best interest to see others succeed in their recovery because it helps them in their own recovery. It’s that positive reinforcement that works in the eyes of the beholder, and the beheld.
Another building block of recovery is surrounding one’s self with relationships of fulfillment. This could be a single person, a group of people, a teaching and learning experience, a communion with nature or any number of things that are contrary to the falsehoods that created the negative persona of before. Often times that means absolute abandonment of lifetime relationships, and will involve mourning for loss of people and activities that ruled a previous life. But in their place are small and sometimes great pieces of truth of a new life in recovery. These structures are the barrier against alcohol and the much-needed growth of a person moving and living closer to the truth of themselves.
While there may well be one truth with an infinite number of falsehoods against it, the contest is not to uncover the truth of it all, but to identify the falsehoods set against it, eliminate them, and thereby develop a clearer vision of the truth. In recovery, the elimination of each falsehood we had once believed in, leads us farther away from alcoholism and what fueled it, and closer to a life of personal and societal value.