Recovery as an Insulator
Down and out feelings are something everyone has in their life. Sometimes they’re small and relatively insignificant. Other times feelings and emotions are carried with a person for long periods of time, if not a person”s whole life.
Resentments are a good example. Many times, resentments are tied in directly with regrets. A person resents an occurrence and regrets the way it happened, and then commonly has guilt about how it all happened, or that a resentment happened at all.
All three of these things, resentment, regret and guilt are baggage, and not just simple baggage. The weight of this baggage can often be the proverbial haystack that broke the camel’s back. As a person carries one big resentment it’s a given that they are carrying more of all sizes and weights.
Like anything, resentments and what comes with them can be habit forming. When used as a solution to an unsolvable problem, resentments create a loop in the mind that keeps cycling through the situation. With the amount of emotion that is invested in what happened, or even what is perceived to have happened, the mind keeps seeking an answer to alleviate the pain. When that doesn’t happen, the mind is constantly searching for another solution. With each failure of relief, desperation ensues and negative feelings stack on other negative feelings, creating what can adds up to mountain of pressure.
Resentments aren’t the only thing that causes these painful loops in the mind. Additionally, the pangs of grief, sorrow, loss, humiliation, shame, failure and fear are examples of how pain can produce a loop that requires a break, but the fix for it can’t be found.
Additionally, traumatic episodes can create unsolvable loops that are very painful and difficult to release. Situations of abuse at any point in ones life can have life changing consequences and lifelong pain that takes a great deal of treatment to heal. Additionally, PTSD is a common factor for military personnel, public health and safety workers, or really anyone that witnesses a distressing event or series of events. Experiencing a traumatic event can damage a person’s feelings of safety, how the perceive themselves, and their ability to regulate emotions and navigate relationships.
The hurtful emotions that result from continually troubling events in one’s life take a great deal of time and consultation to control. Too many times a person feeling the trauma will keep it to themselves, bottle it up, and keep replaying it without a break or release. There is no instant or long-term solution under these circumstances, and unless help is sought in a loving, forgiving and trusted manner the pain only amplifies. The answers don’t come easy, and many times the terms that recovery from alcoholism requires help the traumatic situation as well. Secrets are revealed and troubles are accessed, addressed and worked with. Trust is found in council and situations are identified as approachable rather than reprehensible. It’s unfortunate how many times alcoholism comes into play before actual concrete help and therapy.
When no solution comes, alcohol makes a great insulator.
Alcohol has the uncommon ability to numb not just the physical senses, but also the emotional senses. Emotions that are bothersome, hurtful or unbearable can easily be tuned down and out by inebriation. Alcohol insulates the conscious mind from conscious thought and the relevant emotions. The guilt stops, the regret stops, and the resentments are covered by the mental effect of the drink. The loss is forgotten, and the painful memories of past action and damaging circumstances are glossed over with glassy-eyed drunkenness. As the mind identifies a connection with alcohol and the relief from painful thinking, it sets a trigger for a chemical release that encourages a drinker to partake in ever greater quantity and frequency. Once this process becomes a permanent part of the alcoholic’s life, breaking away from it takes a forced realization followed by a great effort in recovery. It’s akin to Pavlov’s theory, only relief from pain and the effects of the drink are the elements in play.
Drinking as an insulator from life’s circumstances is quite often indefinite, right up until something happens that flips an initial switch, a spotlight of sorts, revealing that a life with alcohol is untenable, and a life without is far less damaging. Sometimes this can occur with an intervention from loved ones, friends, professionals or even the legal system. But most often what is required is an intervention from the alcoholics themselves. What was seen as a go-to for relief from life must be understood as destructive and worthless. The insulation that alcohol provided must be torn away, leaving the person it insulated exposed to the world outside.
This is a time of great pain. The body is in anguish from the cutoff of the intake of a substance it has grown accustomed to. The mind is in anguish from the exposure of a foggy but unobstructed reality. The spirit is in anguish from neglect and regret. It takes time and a great deal of patience to recover from these pains, partly because there are so many pains behind it all.
In some cases, there is physical pain that leads to self-medication. More often, it’s life’s circumstances that alcohol gave a false and temporary solution to. Whatever the case, the insulation that alcohol was giving has to be abandoned and replaced by insulation of a greater nature.
Recovery becomes the new insulator.
A clean and laid bare start in recovery is essential. A determination to identify what the alcoholism is connected to, i.e., the negative baggage and the insurmountable stack of unsolvable issues, has to happen. Steps toward developing a new way of living and releasing what one can’t control take place concurrently. This requires connection with trusted listeners and confidantes. The recovering addict must be able to attend meetings and speak about their situations as well as listen to others to gain perspective. A reliable and trustworthy counselor such as a sponsor, mentor or therapist should be a part of the process of release, understanding and coaching.
All this time the temptation to drink will remain. Just quitting for a span is not going to work, as just about every alcoholic can attest to. Once an alcoholic is feeling better, they also feel fully recovered, and it’s not too long before the mental connection to relief I spoke of earlier starts pounding at the door. It may seem that gaining relief and having a solid foundation in recovery would give a reset to the addiction as well, but that’s not the case. The mental connections that tied alcohol to feeling good, relief and satisfaction can never be broken. Despite a strong rebuild of lifestyle and living, a single drink most likely will trigger continued drinking beyond one’s control. Once a person is an alcoholic, they are always an alcoholic.
The insulation of recovery works two-fold. First, it rebuilds a new character and ability to handle the circumstances of life we are all affected by. Second, it insulates the mind from succumbing to the permanent connection of alcohol with numbing any pain. These two insulating factors work in concert and in symbiosis. Along the way, many factors become included in the insulation from alcohol. Re-connection with past relationships that were beneficial but lost, as well as new relationships will occur. Careers can be established that have fulfillment. Families can be rebuilt and the relationships there can have a new foundation of trust. Health can be restored. Social positions and recognition can be a positive factor. And the overall spiritual nature of a person can be healthy and respected by themselves and those they choose to surround themselves with.
The fragility of the insulation exists in its kryptonite: alcohol. Recovery has a lot of purpose, change and outcomes as one progresses through it. The requirement for it to exist, permanently, is for the former alcoholic to never drink again in any quantity. Essentially, one of the elements of insulation against the temptations to drink is to never trust oneself with alcohol again, while at the same time trusting oneself to develop a life without it. These are the basic conditions of sobriety and continued recovery…
Leave alcohol and it’s ties in the past.
Live life in the present free of alcohol.
Grow life in the future without alcohol.