Pursuit
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
Preamble to the Declaration of Independence
That’s quite a grand statement to lead into a blog post with. The monumental brainpower to even imagine that concept humbles me. I had to borrow it because it’s so well known and so well written.
Happiness is a pursuit. Happiness takes a great deal of effort to achieve and an even greater amount of effort to maintain. It is impossible to hold on to indefinitely but is available. I have trouble holding onto it for more than brief moments at times. Other times it’s a distant idea. It’s something I constantly remind my self is out there and I have to go get it.
Hand in hand with happiness is contentment and fulfillment. Each of these three concepts form a symbiotic bond with the other. Each of them also requires pursuit and comes less frequently, to the point of scarcity, when not pursued. To be realized, happiness requires work from the mental, physical and spiritual aspects of a person.
What is not stated in that sentence from the Declaration is that life and liberty also allow the pursuit of what is not happiness. I’m reluctant to say “unhappiness” as that can happen to any of us considering the randomness of life’s circumstances. When I speak of what is “not happiness” I’m referring to what history refers to as the Capital Vices, AKA the Seven Deadly sins.
We know this reference from a religious standpoint, but judgment is not what I’m looking for. Rather, it’s recognition. As an alcoholic, and as a person that has known many alcoholics I can attest that the capital vices are popular characteristics of people under the influence, especially when the drinking occurs over longer periods of times.
Here are the vices and some ways each related to me as an alcoholic:
Gluttony – never having enough, always wanting more. This was my out-of-control consumption of alcohol to a T.
Lust – using sex as an excuse to drink, and as an excuse to defile myself with pornographic addiction and philandering.
Greed – acting as though I deserved to have things in my life that I didn’t need even though I hadn’t worked for or earned them.
Despair – seeing all angles of the world outside of myself as against me, or at the very least uncaring of me.
Wrath – Quick to fly off the handle at the smallest and largest occurrence, kind of like an out of control -control freak.
Sloth – finding more joy in doing nothing but drinking than working to create or accomplish anything.
Vanity – Holding myself in higher esteem than others via traits I drunkenly defined.
Pride – I can’t be wrong because my shit doesn’t stink and everyone else is full of their own.
I could go through each of these with paragraphs of definitions and examples of my own life. Based on my own experience and what I have witnessed of others I’m sure that that every alcoholic has these vices as their manifesto. It’s easy to fall into these baseless lifestyles because the only thing required is unlimited amounts of alcohol to drink.
The work required to gain happiness, contentment and fulfillment is easily replaced by alcohol once it has a person in its grips. The chemical and psychological effects that are the reward of a pursuit of happiness are also gained artificially through drinking. The monumental problem is that with the false happiness comes all the vices I listed above and a lot more personal, spiritual and physical baggage. It’s evident that the alcohol doesn’t care about any of this because the person consuming it doesn’t care either. All an alcoholic wants is more alcohol because it’s a quick trip to fooling themselves that happiness comes from a glass.
This cycle can’t be broken with happiness alternatives. For most alcoholics it means hitting some kind of bottom in the drinking life, which is generally losing the ability to acquire the drink, serious physical health impacts, incarceration, universal social abandonment or death. In essence, the depravity of life becomes more unbearable than the cheap mental reward system of consumption.
Whatever the case of seeking recovery, once the desire is there to stop drinking, a new desire must replace it. Pursuing happiness is an integral part of recovery. Any recovery program worth its salt aims at a person taking charge of their mental, physical and spiritual health. The means to this is living in a manner that is counter to drinking. Those seven vices I listed earlier, and any others hanging around, are all put into reverse gear and applied to self.
Take pride for instance. What replaces pride? Humility.
Wrath? Patience. Calm. Serenity.
Lust? Virtue, Honesty, Cleanliness.
There is no limit to the positive qualities to replace the vices, and each of those qualities apply to all the vices in one form or another. But once again, none of them are freebies. All require work towards self-actualization and self-improvement. This takes time and it doesn’t end. It’s a lifetime achievement award that can only be received posthumously. Along the way, happiness is a lot more available and easier to catch and hold onto.
The greatest threat to recovery is that the instant gratification of drinking is out there and far easier to access. It’s a solid reason that relapse is common. If a light can go on that the baggage that comes with that gratification is far more work than creating a life that is free of it, permanent recovery is not only possible but probable.